As I sit in a restaurant waiting for my mother to return from getting money to pay for our lunch, I decided to write a little bit…
I haven’t had the courage or the time to write in the past few months. I have returned to school so my free time is filled with homework, sorority events, or rehearsal for theatre.
I had a tough week emotionally and mentally so the counselor in the emergency counseling center decided it was best I go home for the weekend.
I don’t trust you to keep yourself safe.
She would actually prefer that I leave school, but I’m NOT doing that again. I refuse.
I am supposed to be back and better than ever. Aren’t I?
It’s a process.
PS: The last time I wrote, my mother thought I was pregnant. I AM NOT PREGNANT. K bye.
YES, FOUR breakdowns today.
Everything is becoming too much to handle.
I am an assistant stage manager for a show at my university. We open tomorrow night so for the past week we have had rehearsal from 6pm-11pm every night. The show AND homework AND depression AND attempting to have a social life is going to be the death of me.
My breakdowns started when I realized I am paying over $30,000 a semester to be physically, mentally, and emotionally drained for a grade. For real.
1st breakdown was in class.
2nd breakdown was on my drive home from campus.
3rd breakdown was in my room.
4th breakdown was in my room on the phone with my mom.
My mom mentioned that it would be okay if I needed to come home. When I think about taking the rest of the semester off, I have many mixed feelings.
Part of me wants to have some time at home to relax and rejuvenate. To get in a better place.
Part of me does NOT want to leave because I’m afraid if I leave, I will never go back.
If I never go back, what will I do with my life?
I don’t want to be one of those drop-outs that lives with her parents and works at Chick-Fil-A until she’s 30.
I CAN’T be like that.
I just can’t.
Hello everyone. I am sorry for my few days of absence. Rosie hasn’t forgotten about y’all, I promise.
I am a few days behind on posts, but I don’t care.
All you need to know is that…
- I am out of the hospital,
- I am back at college,
- my mom is staying in my apartment with me,
- and I am
kind of miserable.
- I am fine.
Okay. That is all.