Broken bread. 

Although my hallucinations haven’t been a problem lately, my eating has been. Either I’m eating too much or too little. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with an eating disorder, and now I am in an outpatient program where I am trying to get some help with my difficulties with food. 

If it’s not one thing it’s another. Am I right or am I right?  

I just want to be happy for goodness sakes. I’ve decided to go back to university in the fall and be a theatre major again. But if my body refuses to cooperate, I’m going to be seriously pissed. I worked my butt off to get over self harming, now I come home from my outpatient program (where they make us eat a very large meal) wanting to cry and self harm because I’m never going to lose weight and feel comfortable in my body if they keep making me eat so much. 

I have to write everything I eat in a “food journal” that requires I eat quite a good amount of food every day. My daily calorie intake is about to get larger. 

As will my pants size. 😢

Sincerely,

Medicated Perfection. 

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