YES, FOUR breakdowns today.
Everything is becoming too much to handle.
I am an assistant stage manager for a show at my university. We open tomorrow night so for the past week we have had rehearsal from 6pm-11pm every night. The show AND homework AND depression AND attempting to have a social life is going to be the death of me.
My breakdowns started when I realized I am paying over $30,000 a semester to be physically, mentally, and emotionally drained for a grade. For real.
1st breakdown was in class.
2nd breakdown was on my drive home from campus.
3rd breakdown was in my room.
4th breakdown was in my room on the phone with my mom.
My mom mentioned that it would be okay if I needed to come home. When I think about taking the rest of the semester off, I have many mixed feelings.
Part of me wants to have some time at home to relax and rejuvenate. To get in a better place.
Part of me does NOT want to leave because I’m afraid if I leave, I will never go back.
If I never go back, what will I do with my life?
I don’t want to be one of those drop-outs that lives with her parents and works at Chick-Fil-A until she’s 30.
I CAN’T be like that.
I just can’t.